Speak with Corporate Slang

Inspired the Code of the Cube

Prologue - Big L’s “Ebonics” is was one of my favorite hip-hop concept songs. I love it so much, this is my second time writing about it.

In it he effortlessly breaks down slang, translating his world verse by verse. I came back to it because I recently added it to a hip-hop playlist I am making with some colleagues. Listening to it again inspired me to take the concept and apply it to corporate speak. I mashed up the concept with Blackalicious “Alphabet Aerobics” and took it A-Z.

Yo pay attention and listen real closely how I cascade this corporate speak down -

Check it, to agree on a decision is to align

To build on that, is making someone else’s idea mine

The group you rely on to get shit done is your cross-functional,

Do-more-with less every manager’s ask, not a hypothetical.

Elephant in the room is the obvious problem,

But you need solutions, float an idea and facilitate an outcome

Wanna sound smart, ask what the goal is,

Getting the people to stay on topic is herding cats in this biz’

Incremental is on-top-of, all that matters -

Low hanging fruit means it’s easy, fruit makes pockets fatter

To make an impact is to move the needle

Gotta be big tho, niche is small, make your P&L feeble

To step out on is to outsource

Ping is get at me of course

ROI is your payback, too small and you dead it

Synergy - two heads better than one - so get out your silo for a bit

Meeting getting spicy, save face chat private, talk offline

Uber of ____ is what the digital consultant will opine

Value, the new frame is lifetime and whitespace

Win Win is good for everybody in this case

My goal is to remove all this jargon from my vocabulary.

Filmed in Seattle